I’m what you call a Pogonophile. I like beards. A lot. In fact Id dare to say that it’s reached an almost “fetish” level… and I’m not alone. In fact there are more and more women who are discovering the magic of facial gardens. But before men everywhere decide to start growing realistic facial moss all willy nilly, let me tell you, Beards have rules. No…they really do. And I’m going to share these rules for you. Now, keep in mind, I don’t speak for all women, but I probably speak for a whole lot of us when I say the following, so if you’re going to grow facial hair, then you should take this into consideration.
1)There is a fine line between trimming and becoming king of the douchebags. If you find yourself making little swirls and loops until your beard looks like a tribal tattoo. You’ve gone too far. No woman in her right mind thinks that’s hot. Unless you’re both into Cos Play and you are going for the whole “Seneca Crane” look. Which is wicked hot in a COSPLAY CONTEXT. but she’s not going to want to go to the mall and hang out with you or anywhere else if your face requires that kind of upkeep. Beards are supposed to make you look and feel manly and robust. I think women everywhere agree on this.
2)Beards to avoid: Unless you live on Jersey Shore, avoid pencil line beards. That’s not a beard. Its a an attempt at a beard. Also while on the subject, Those “ring beards”… it looks like your neck is trying to give birth to your face. Avoid that like the black death, it looks beyond stupid NO ONE can pull off that look. Same can be said about Chin straps in my opinion… those things are dumb too.
3)Hygiene: Facial hair is hair. It holds on to dirt, oil, odors… especially if you smoke. You can buy beard wash and conditioners and they smell amazing. In fact I have some at home which I bought simply because it smells amazing. I obviously don’t have a beard (I’m female), but I gotta tell you, running my finger tips through a beard, and kinda massaging the cheeks and chin.. especially if it feels nice and smells awesome… I’m yours forever…(FYI: It’s called Ogallala Bay Rum Sandlewood Vanilla, and you can buy soaps, shave creams… all kinds of stuff… all available online..It’s sexy as all hell…really.)
4)Now, I’ve been into beards since GI Joe had one. In fact I believe my Ken doll at one point had a beard. But that being said, not every man can sport a full beard. Which brings me to a very important point. While a beard is very, very sexy, it’s not what makes the man. Ultimately it boils down to how a man carries himself. Who he is. If you can only grow a goatee, then you grow it and own it. If you can only do a moustache, then do that. If you can’t grow facial hair, because some men can’t, it doesn’t make you less attractive. Beards for most of us Pogonophiles is a preference much like blond hair or long legs would be for a man. It doesn’t mean you’ll never find a brunette unattractive. So if you are going to be one of those clean shaven guys, that’s okay. In the end a woman who is deserving of your attention will love you for what you bring to the table. So don’t stress out about trying to fill out your facial hair and fluffing it or God knows what else. It’s unnecessary, and really when all is said and done, you’ll look better with no facial hair than you would with sporadic facial hair patterns.
5) If you happen to be dating a Pogonophile, or hope to, be ready to be felt up…in the beard. Think about it, if you like big boobs on a girl and you date this woman with a gorgeous rack and she said “yeah go ahead and look, but don’t touch em…ever” Relationship over…right? Yeah. It’s like that for us too.
6)If you look good in a beard and your woman (or man) likes it that way…please keep it. Women do lots of additional grooming for the sake of their partners, if we ask you to keep the beard cus it gets us off…keep the damn beard. If you shave it off for a legitimate reason (like you got wood glue in it) then fine.. decent reason. If you shave it off for no reason, well, lets just say something’s up with that. Because why would you deliberately remove something that your partner finds sexy and can get you laid a whole lot unless you DON”T WANT to get laid? If you like long hair on a woman and just to prove a point she chops it off. Yeah she’s still your woman and you’d probably still do her, but are you slightly less attracted to her because her hair is as short as yours or shorter? yeah…maybe. That’s how you gotta look at it.
I love a nice beard. When it’s clean and kept up. I’m not a big fan of Beard art.. the ones you see at competition. They have a whole sport around it called Bearding. Those beards are a little over the top for my taste. Did I miss any beard rules? let me know!
In the meantime, check this out! https://www.facebook.com/youbeard?fref=nf